Monthly Archives: May 2012

The tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth…

It’s been a quiet day on the plumbing front. Dave arrived – on his own – at  11 o’clock.  When I asked about Eric,   Dave puffed out his cheeks, winced as if a wasp had stung him somewhere vital, and … Continue reading

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Dave hits a snag (among other things)…

Water has been gushing through the kitchen ceiling.  Dave tells me it’s ‘par for the course’ and I mustn’t let it worry me. Mrs C has gone to stay with her sister in Kent for a few days.   Just as … Continue reading

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Fruity woman ruins photograph

Earlier today, I was leafing through my weekend copy of The Daily Telegraph (‘The paper Prince Philip reads’, so it can be relied on for the facts). Buried away on page 19 was a startling story.  The biggest ever photograph … Continue reading

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Enter Dave, stage left…

Our house looks like a bomb has hit it. This is not, I should add,  a criticism of my good lady’s domestic skills.   Far from it.    The better half has no equal with the dustpan and brush,  and her scrubbing … Continue reading

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Shane saves the day

This morning, my faith in human nature was restored. A man called ‘Shane’ rang to tell me my computer was infected with ‘why-russes’.  Shane lives in India and phoned at his own expense to give me the news.  In my … Continue reading

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Hello world!

I’ve been in cheese all my life.   In the 1980s,  door-to-door sales made me a household name across the north of England.  ‘Don’t Be A Chump, Get Your Cheese From Chester Crump’ was the company’s most famous slogan. ‘More Cheese, … Continue reading

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