Hello world!

I’ve been in cheese all my life.   In the 1980s,  door-to-door sales made me a household name across the north of England.  ‘Don’t Be A Chump, Get Your Cheese From Chester Crump’ was the company’s most famous slogan. ‘More Cheese, Louise?’ That was another.

I’m out of cheese, now, having flogged the firm to a Frenchman in a suit while the going was good.    What to do with my days, though?

A diary of events, I thought.  That will help pass the time.

They won’t necessarily be big events.  I may touch on the price of milk.  Or England’s chances in the World Cup.  Possibly what my next-door-neighbour is up to when he thinks I’m not looking; or what I’ve had for breakfast.   I’ll be ranging far and wide; and sometimes not very far at all.

Quite frankly,   I’ve no idea where this will take me.   But, if the young people are to be believed,  there could be a book in it.  (I read that on Twitter, so it must be true.)

Or possibly a film starring George Clooney, to whom, the current Mrs Crump reliably informs me, I bear no resemblance whatsoever.

But he doesn’t look like me either, which makes us even.

Right – let’s get going!


Thought for the day

‘Rose’s are red, violet’s are blue …  Nice girls, but you can’t take them anywhere.’

Mao Tse-tung  (1893-1976)  [Or it might have been someone else.]


About Chester Crump

Chester J Crump has spent a lifetime in cheese. His company, CC Cheese Ltd, was voted Door to Door magazine’s ‘Smallest Retailer of the Year’ from 1985-2007. Cheddar Today described him as ‘Chester Crump, aged 45’, while the UK’s most successful broadsheet, The Daily Telegraph, has never mentioned him at all. In his spare time, and under a completely different name, Chester has written gags and sketches for a wide range of TV and radio shows both in the UK and mainland Europe (BBC1, ITV, S4C, Radio 2, Radio 4 and the World Service – among others). A published writer for children, teenagers and adults, he has also performed stand-up comedy across Yorkshire and, in 2011, at the Edinburgh Fringe. Ten years ago, he was rumoured to be the constant companion of Sarah Michelle Gellar – TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, more recently, that girl out of EastEnders whose name no one can remember. When he’s not writing his blog, Chester attends second-hand hat conventions, and has what many believe to be the largest collection of used headgear in Yorkshire. He is married to a woman, and lives in a house. All the above is completely true – with the possible exception of the bits about cheese. And Buffy. And EastEnders. And hats.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Hello world!

  1. Pingback: Fur better or worse… | Cheese Will Set Us Free

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s