Hello world!

I’ve been in cheese all my life.   In the 1980s,  door-to-door sales made me a household name across the north of England.  ‘Don’t Be A Chump, Get Your Cheese From Chester Crump’ was the company’s most famous slogan. ‘More Cheese, Louise?’ That was another.

I’m out of cheese, now, having flogged the firm to a Frenchman in a suit while the going was good.    What to do with my days, though?

A diary of events, I thought.  That will help pass the time.

They won’t necessarily be big events.  I may touch on the price of milk.  Or England’s chances in the World Cup.  Possibly what my next-door-neighbour is up to when he thinks I’m not looking; or what I’ve had for breakfast.   I’ll be ranging far and wide; and sometimes not very far at all.

Quite frankly,   I’ve no idea where this will take me.   But, if the young people are to be believed,  there could be a book in it.  (I read that on Twitter, so it must be true.)

Or possibly a film starring George Clooney, to whom, the current Mrs Crump reliably informs me, I bear no resemblance whatsoever.

But he doesn’t look like me either, which makes us even.

Right – let’s get going!

Chester

Thought for the day

‘Rose’s are red, violet’s are blue …  Nice girls, but you can’t take them anywhere.’

Mao Tse-tung  (1893-1976)  [Or it might have been someone else.]

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About Chester Crump

Chester J Crump has spent a lifetime in cheese. His company, CC Cheese Ltd, was voted Door to Door magazine’s ‘Smallest Retailer of the Year’ from 1985-2007. Cheddar Today described him as ‘Chester Crump, aged 45’, while the UK’s most successful broadsheet, The Daily Telegraph, has never mentioned him at all. In his spare time, and under a completely different name, Chester has written gags and sketches for a wide range of TV and radio shows both in the UK and mainland Europe (BBC1, ITV, S4C, Radio 2, Radio 4 and the World Service – among others). A published writer for children, teenagers and adults, he has also performed stand-up comedy across Yorkshire and, in 2011, at the Edinburgh Fringe. Ten years ago, he was rumoured to be the constant companion of Sarah Michelle Gellar – TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, more recently, that girl out of EastEnders whose name no one can remember. When he’s not writing his blog, Chester attends second-hand hat conventions, and has what many believe to be the largest collection of used headgear in Yorkshire. He is married to a woman, and lives in a house. All the above is completely true – with the possible exception of the bits about cheese. And Buffy. And EastEnders. And hats.
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One Response to Hello world!

  1. Pingback: Fur better or worse… | Cheese Will Set Us Free

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