I’ve been in cheese all my life. In the 1980s, door-to-door sales made me a household name across the north of England. ‘Don’t Be A Chump, Get Your Cheese From Chester Crump’ was the company’s most famous slogan. ‘More Cheese, Louise?’ That was another.
I’m out of cheese, now, having flogged the firm to a Frenchman in a suit while the going was good. What to do with my days, though?
A diary of events, I thought. That will help pass the time.
They won’t necessarily be big events. I may touch on the price of milk. Or England’s chances in the World Cup. Possibly what my next-door-neighbour is up to when he thinks I’m not looking; or what I’ve had for breakfast. I’ll be ranging far and wide; and sometimes not very far at all.
Quite frankly, I’ve no idea where this will take me. But, if the young people are to be believed, there could be a book in it. (I read that on Twitter, so it must be true.)
Or possibly a film starring George Clooney, to whom, the current Mrs Crump reliably informs me, I bear no resemblance whatsoever.
But he doesn’t look like me either, which makes us even.
Right – let’s get going!
Thought for the day
‘Rose’s are red, violet’s are blue … Nice girls, but you can’t take them anywhere.’
Mao Tse-tung (1893-1976) [Or it might have been someone else.]