Fruity woman ruins photograph

Earlier today, I was leafing through my weekend copy of The Daily Telegraph (‘The paper Prince Philip reads’, so it can be relied on for the facts).

Buried away on page 19 was a startling story.  The biggest ever photograph of the Royal Family has been displayed on London’s South Bank to commemorate the Diamond Jubilee.  Unfortunately, the accompanying shot (see below) was completely ruined when a fruity young woman walked in front of the camera just as the Telegraph’s man was fiddling with his shutter.

Isn’t it ever the way?  I’ve lost track of the times I’ve taken a photograph of the current Mrs C, leaning seductively over a wall, and, just as I pull the trigger, a fruity young lass, often in a short skirt and waving her legs at me, hoves into view and ruins the shot.

Still,  it’s good to see that, in a bloodbath-riddled, war-torn world, teetering on the brink of financial Armageddon, Telegraph reporters are still ready to risk life, limb and the wrath of their partners to bring us the news that really matters.

(Click on the above image to enlarge.)

Elsewhere in the news,  Dave rang in sick and says he can’t make it today.   He has a migraine brought on by worry, but I’m not to concern myself.

Fair enough.

Thought for the Day

‘My girlfriend asked me to name the day.  I named it Fred.  Stupid, I know – but that’s women for you.’

Pliny the Elder (23-79 AD)


About Chester Crump

Chester J Crump has spent a lifetime in cheese. His company, CC Cheese Ltd, was voted Door to Door magazine’s ‘Smallest Retailer of the Year’ from 1985-2007. Cheddar Today described him as ‘Chester Crump, aged 45’, while the UK’s most successful broadsheet, The Daily Telegraph, has never mentioned him at all. In his spare time, and under a completely different name, Chester has written gags and sketches for a wide range of TV and radio shows both in the UK and mainland Europe (BBC1, ITV, S4C, Radio 2, Radio 4 and the World Service – among others). A published writer for children, teenagers and adults, he has also performed stand-up comedy across Yorkshire and, in 2011, at the Edinburgh Fringe. Ten years ago, he was rumoured to be the constant companion of Sarah Michelle Gellar – TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, more recently, that girl out of EastEnders whose name no one can remember. When he’s not writing his blog, Chester attends second-hand hat conventions, and has what many believe to be the largest collection of used headgear in Yorkshire. He is married to a woman, and lives in a house. All the above is completely true – with the possible exception of the bits about cheese. And Buffy. And EastEnders. And hats.
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