Super Dave to the Rescue!

Startling news that will strike fear into every villain’s heart.  Our Prime Minister, David Cameron, has super powers and can fly!

Doubtless,  some of you will think I’ve lost the plot.  That weeks of bathroom trauma have finally taken their toll.     Think again!      The proof – if proof were needed – can be found in this morning’s Daily Telegraph. (‘The paper our superheroes read!’ – and if it’s good enough for Batman, it’s good enough for me.)

Mr Dave (far left – but his political beliefs are his own concern!) can clearly be seen hovering in the air and training his x-ray vision on a glass of Chateau Lafite 1952 (almost £600 a bottle!)

The photo dates from 1983 and was taken at the so-called Freedom Ball – which has a ‘superhero’ ring to it, and no mistake.  It’s a shame he wasn’t wearing a mask, as his cover has now been blown.  But Superman never wore one and we never realised he and Clark Kent were one and the same.

Possibly Mr Dave will need to wear a pair of spectacles when he’s solving crime and keeping the Earth safe from Kryptonite.  Then no one will know it’s him.   It’s worth a try.

I bet it’s put the fear of God into Ed Miliband – and Nick Clegg, too.  They’ll think twice in future before questioning our man at Number Ten – for fear he’ll fry them to a crisp with his deadly heat vision.

(Click on image above to enlarge)

Thought for the Day

‘On an MP’s grave the headstone read, “He is not dead, but only sleeping”.  And beneath it someone had scrawled,  “Then for God’s sake don’t wake the bugger up”.’                      Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962)


About Chester Crump

Chester J Crump has spent a lifetime in cheese. His company, CC Cheese Ltd, was voted Door to Door magazine’s ‘Smallest Retailer of the Year’ from 1985-2007. Cheddar Today described him as ‘Chester Crump, aged 45’, while the UK’s most successful broadsheet, The Daily Telegraph, has never mentioned him at all. In his spare time, and under a completely different name, Chester has written gags and sketches for a wide range of TV and radio shows both in the UK and mainland Europe (BBC1, ITV, S4C, Radio 2, Radio 4 and the World Service – among others). A published writer for children, teenagers and adults, he has also performed stand-up comedy across Yorkshire and, in 2011, at the Edinburgh Fringe. Ten years ago, he was rumoured to be the constant companion of Sarah Michelle Gellar – TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, more recently, that girl out of EastEnders whose name no one can remember. When he’s not writing his blog, Chester attends second-hand hat conventions, and has what many believe to be the largest collection of used headgear in Yorkshire. He is married to a woman, and lives in a house. All the above is completely true – with the possible exception of the bits about cheese. And Buffy. And EastEnders. And hats.
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