Startling news that will strike fear into every villain’s heart. Our Prime Minister, David Cameron, has super powers and can fly!
Doubtless, some of you will think I’ve lost the plot. That weeks of bathroom trauma have finally taken their toll. Think again! The proof – if proof were needed – can be found in this morning’s Daily Telegraph. (‘The paper our superheroes read!’ – and if it’s good enough for Batman, it’s good enough for me.)
Mr Dave (far left – but his political beliefs are his own concern!) can clearly be seen hovering in the air and training his x-ray vision on a glass of Chateau Lafite 1952 (almost £600 a bottle!)
The photo dates from 1983 and was taken at the so-called Freedom Ball – which has a ‘superhero’ ring to it, and no mistake. It’s a shame he wasn’t wearing a mask, as his cover has now been blown. But Superman never wore one and we never realised he and Clark Kent were one and the same.
Possibly Mr Dave will need to wear a pair of spectacles when he’s solving crime and keeping the Earth safe from Kryptonite. Then no one will know it’s him. It’s worth a try.
I bet it’s put the fear of God into Ed Miliband – and Nick Clegg, too. They’ll think twice in future before questioning our man at Number Ten – for fear he’ll fry them to a crisp with his deadly heat vision.
Thought for the Day
‘On an MP’s grave the headstone read, “He is not dead, but only sleeping”. And beneath it someone had scrawled, “Then for God’s sake don’t wake the bugger up”.’ Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962)