What a shower!

Yesterday, I mentioned a ‘setback’ with the shower.  Hard to believe,  but here’s the story..

We have a light in our loft so that, on those occasions when  Mrs C has to climb up the ladder to check for mice, she can make her way round in relative safety.

Neither of us has been up there since last Wednesday – when Dave’s electrician friend,  Jim called.  Nor, since then, the bathroom still resembling something of a junkyard, have we been brave enough to use the shower.

Yesterday we finally did – only to discover that Jim has cleverly wired things up so that it will only operate when the light in the loft is switched on!

I discovered this when, the shower having failed to produce any water at all, let alone any approaching ‘optimum temperature’,   I opened the loft door and switched on the light.   Water began to flow immediately – and stopped when I switched the light off.

Call me old-fashioned, but climbing into the loft every time I want to take a shower is not progress, in my opinion, however warm the water.

I told Dave as soon as he arrived and, having given everything the once over, he pronounced Jim to be a ‘prize pillock’.

Unfortunately, just now,  it seems, Jim  is ‘tied up elsewhere’ (Dave doesn’t elaborate), so can’t be summoned to put the problem right.  Dave, however, insists that he knows what’s gone wrong and proceeds to tell me lots of things about wires, and electrical conduction, none of which I understand.  But he says it’s a simple job and he can sort it out.

I’m none too sure, but let him get on with it.   An hour later, the shower springs into life without any help from our bulb in the loft.   After two minutes, Dave thrusts his hand into the cubicle and declares the water to be at ‘optimum temperature’.

It’s hard to believe he may have got this right.  Not that I say that, of course, as it would only upset him.

I’m none too convinced the shower is not now ‘live’ and that, the next time I step inside and touch something metal,  I’ll be blasted to kingdom come.

For the rest of the day, Dave repairs what’s left of the floor, fits large sheets of green underlay and most, but not all, of a timber-like laminated covering.

He leaves at 5.30, but says that one more day will see the job finished.

We’re almost there.  Roll on tomorrow.

Thought for the Day

‘St Thomas Aquinas was a pugnacious philosopher.  He thought the good fight.

Oliver Reed (1938-1999)

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About Chester Crump

Chester J Crump has spent a lifetime in cheese. His company, CC Cheese Ltd, was voted Door to Door magazine’s ‘Smallest Retailer of the Year’ from 1985-2007. Cheddar Today described him as ‘Chester Crump, aged 45’, while the UK’s most successful broadsheet, The Daily Telegraph, has never mentioned him at all. In his spare time, and under a completely different name, Chester has written gags and sketches for a wide range of TV and radio shows both in the UK and mainland Europe (BBC1, ITV, S4C, Radio 2, Radio 4 and the World Service – among others). A published writer for children, teenagers and adults, he has also performed stand-up comedy across Yorkshire and, in 2011, at the Edinburgh Fringe. Ten years ago, he was rumoured to be the constant companion of Sarah Michelle Gellar – TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, more recently, that girl out of EastEnders whose name no one can remember. When he’s not writing his blog, Chester attends second-hand hat conventions, and has what many believe to be the largest collection of used headgear in Yorkshire. He is married to a woman, and lives in a house. All the above is completely true – with the possible exception of the bits about cheese. And Buffy. And EastEnders. And hats.
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