Splashing out…

(Click on above image to enlarge)

According to a report in today’s Daily Mail, a wedding party in Michigan, USA came a cropper when the dock they were posing on suddenly collapsed, forcing them to paddle for their lives.

A quick look at the happy couple (centre) hints at the probable cause.

Apparently, once in the water,  the groom was off like a shot, leaving a bridesmaid to rescue his new wife.  Possibly he spotted a Big Mac (with shake and extra fries) discarded on the shore, and instinct kicked in.

But is it the best start to married life?  I’m not convinced.

If I swam off and left the current Mrs C in the lurch, she’d hunt me down like the dog I was.  A woman who has won ‘Best Kept Kitchen’ three years on the trot doesn’t take prisoners.   As any germ would tell you if it could.

Wading ashore – a tragedy averted.

Elsewhere in the news, our bathroom is complete, Dave having laid the new floor, tidied up and pronounced himself ‘done’. He looks pleased with himself, having finished on schedule after all, despite setbacks.

We shake hands, a cheque is signed and I promise to recommend him to my friends.

Hard to believe the saga has ended.   Everything  looks fine and he appears to have done a good job.  Fingers crossed, then.

Life won’t be the same without him.

But I expect we’ll learn to cope.

Thought for the Day

‘A morning wedding is a good idea.  Then, if the marriage doesn’t work out, at least you haven’t wasted the whole day.’

The former Mrs Chuck Burgerking III (Michigan)(see above)


About Chester Crump

Chester J Crump has spent a lifetime in cheese. His company, CC Cheese Ltd, was voted Door to Door magazine’s ‘Smallest Retailer of the Year’ from 1985-2007. Cheddar Today described him as ‘Chester Crump, aged 45’, while the UK’s most successful broadsheet, The Daily Telegraph, has never mentioned him at all. In his spare time, and under a completely different name, Chester has written gags and sketches for a wide range of TV and radio shows both in the UK and mainland Europe (BBC1, ITV, S4C, Radio 2, Radio 4 and the World Service – among others). A published writer for children, teenagers and adults, he has also performed stand-up comedy across Yorkshire and, in 2011, at the Edinburgh Fringe. Ten years ago, he was rumoured to be the constant companion of Sarah Michelle Gellar – TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, more recently, that girl out of EastEnders whose name no one can remember. When he’s not writing his blog, Chester attends second-hand hat conventions, and has what many believe to be the largest collection of used headgear in Yorkshire. He is married to a woman, and lives in a house. All the above is completely true – with the possible exception of the bits about cheese. And Buffy. And EastEnders. And hats.
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2 Responses to Splashing out…

  1. Dean Gregory says:

    “The former Mrs Chuck Burgerking III”

    You wouldn’t believe how hard that made me laugh.

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