According to a report in this morning’s Daily Telegraph (‘The paper our bishops read’, so we know it minds its p’s and q’s), a school in Barnsley has put swearing on the syllabus.
Children have been asked to grade various four-letter words as being ‘Always OK’, ‘Sometimes OK’, ‘Never OK’ or ‘Depends’.
A number of parents phoned in to complain, but were told by a teacher to ‘f—’ off as it was none of their business. (They weren’t really, I’ve just made that up. But if they had been, I wouldn’t have been surprised; and I don’t suppose you would have been, either.)
Many schools have long since abandoned education as being their primary purpose; largely because none of our teachers can spell, and everyone goes to university whether they can count up to ten or not. But is A- level swearing the way ahead? I’m not convinced.
Another question asked was, ‘Is it acceptable to shout the f-word across a classroom or shopping centre?’ I’m tempted to suggest, it all depends on whether your teacher is the target, or you spot Tony Blair coming out of Primark.
Another was, ‘Is it all right to say s— when you drop something?’. Not teaching standards, of course, or we’d be here all day and probably have to invent some new rude words to keep us going.
A school spokesman said it was ‘part of our social responsibility’ to introduce the children to bad language. No doubt so that when they go to university, and have to be held back a year because their teacher was a ‘d—‘, who didn’t ‘learn them nothing’, they’ll know what to put in an email to him.
It will also come in handy when they see the size of the bill for their three-year course, and might otherwise be at a loss for words.
Of course, it’s only a matter of time before they turn swearing into a university degree.
Getting an ‘F’ would no longer be seen as ‘failure’. Quite the contrary. And doubtless a ‘C’ would mean you were top of the class and could go home early.
It’s no wonder British education is the envy of the world.
Or, as a teacher in Barnsley might put it, ‘the f—— envy of the world’.
Thought for the Day
‘I’ve got an old master hanging on my sitting room wall. Well, it’s just his head, really. That’ll teach him to put me back a year.’
King Leopold II of Belgium (1835-1909)