I’ve received a complaint.
A reader has emailed to express his dismay that my blog does not, as he had hoped, chronicle the adventures of freedom-fighting cheese.
It’s a fair point. I made a killing on cheddar in the 1980s. Having sold the business to a Frenchman, and retired on the proceeds, cheese has, in a manner of speaking, set me free.
But not, I appreciate, the rest of you.
It got me to thinking, though. In the world of villain-bashing superheroes, there’s a severe dearth of those who rely on the power of cheese to carry the day.
Whither Gorgonzola Girl, for example? Or Wensleydale Woman? Brie Boy, Red Leicester and the Camembert Kid? The list goes on.
It seems to me that comic book writers are missing a trick – and failing to cash in on a wide range of food-related tales of derring-do.
I don’t get on with all vegetables, and would be happy to boo a villain called The Human Leek. I’m not sure what his powers would be – possibly the ability to make you feel slightly unwell. I’m not a writer myself, so leave that job to those who know their trade.
I’m thinking of sending a letter to the Beano, and giving them first refusal on the project.
If you’re keen to be involved, drop me a comment, and I’ll add your name to the ‘team’. The more ideas we have, the more it will impress them. Dennis the Menace was fine in his day, but times have moved on and they’ll be grateful for a nudge.
Who knows – if an editor bites, cheese may set us all free, after all!
I don’t want to be forced to change the name of the blog, just because someone threatens to sue. It’s taken me long enough to get five readers. If I start up somewhere else, you may never find me again.
Mrs C says you may not even go looking. (I don’t think she’s got over last week’s raincoat fiasco yet.)
Thought for the Day
‘The pig, if I am not mistaken,
Supplies us sausage, ham and bacon.
Let others say his heart is big –
I call it stupid of the pig.’
Ogden Nash, ‘The Pig’ (1933)