The importanse off corect speling..

In my relief to see the back of our recent guest, I forgot to mention two highlights of his stay.

Last Thursday,  at the London Olympics, we won a gold medal in taekwondo.  Apparently our first ever.  This upset Bernard no end – something of a surprise as the man is patriotic beyond reason.  (He’s had his alarm clock ‘digitally enhanced’ to play ‘God Save the Queen’; much to Norma’s despair as she’d rather lie in, not stand to attention before she’s even had breakfast.)

It was only when he muttered something about ‘the idiots awarding medals for yoga next’ that I realised he’d mistaken the sport for an exercise regime. Possibly Tai Chi, though I knew better than to argue the point.

Two days earlier, he wanted to know why, as loyal Britons, we had the French flag flying in our garden.   It turned out the current Mrs C had hung out a white sheet to dry.   Bernard was on his third glass of whisky at the time so this may have been an attempt at humour, though again I kept my head down.

He arrived home safe and sound on Friday evening – having got off his Scottish-bound train at Darlington and caught one going in the right direction.  (Though he had to change at Leeds,  and was forced to stand for 90 minutes until a pregnant schoolgirl took pity and offered him her seat.)

He’s threatened to visit us again in the not-too-distant future.  Mrs C took the call and, to be fair, the word she actually used was ‘promised’.  But I think you know where I’m coming from on this one.

In the meantime, here’s another photo from the album.  It’s not the best,  and I attach it largely because it’s a Sunday,  so you probably won’t check in and will never see it:

 (Click on above image to enlarge)

Thought for the Day

He speaks his mind.  Which tends to limit the conversation a bit.’

(I’m saying nothing)


About Chester Crump

Chester J Crump has spent a lifetime in cheese. His company, CC Cheese Ltd, was voted Door to Door magazine’s ‘Smallest Retailer of the Year’ from 1985-2007. Cheddar Today described him as ‘Chester Crump, aged 45’, while the UK’s most successful broadsheet, The Daily Telegraph, has never mentioned him at all. In his spare time, and under a completely different name, Chester has written gags and sketches for a wide range of TV and radio shows both in the UK and mainland Europe (BBC1, ITV, S4C, Radio 2, Radio 4 and the World Service – among others). A published writer for children, teenagers and adults, he has also performed stand-up comedy across Yorkshire and, in 2011, at the Edinburgh Fringe. Ten years ago, he was rumoured to be the constant companion of Sarah Michelle Gellar – TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, more recently, that girl out of EastEnders whose name no one can remember. When he’s not writing his blog, Chester attends second-hand hat conventions, and has what many believe to be the largest collection of used headgear in Yorkshire. He is married to a woman, and lives in a house. All the above is completely true – with the possible exception of the bits about cheese. And Buffy. And EastEnders. And hats.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to The importanse off corect speling..

  1. ‘He’ in thought of the day being Bernard?
    But true of anyone with that tendency.

  2. Dean Gregory says:

    “He’s threatened to visit us again in the not-too-distant future.” Haha, very good 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s