Monthly Archives: September 2012

Not with a bang, but a whimper…

Harold has popped round to bring me up to date with his love life. The last we heard, Olga had been into his pocket for a few hundred quid:  recompense for costs incurred after he backed out of tying the … Continue reading

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Sunny side up!

According to a report in today’s Daily Mail (‘the paper our naturists read’, so we know it favours an all-over tan), a drink-driver has been sentenced to lie on the beach for a week. And not any old beach, either.  … Continue reading

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Some shocking news! Literally…

According to a report in this morning’s Daily Mail (‘the paper our tradesmen read’, so we know it’s good for a quote), an electrician was tasered by armed police after he walked into a shop in Swansea, with a screwdriver … Continue reading

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Happy families…

Bernard has sent me a silly photo.   He’s like a man with a large Rolex:  too much time on his hands.  Anyway, here it is: (Click on above image to enlarge) Meanwhile,  Mr and Mrs Spam are still in touch.   … Continue reading

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Rich beyond my wildest dreams…

I have come into money.  A great deal of it, in fact. A Nigerian lady has emailed to tell me her father has passed away.  It seems he owned a diamond mine in Africa and was worth, at a conservative … Continue reading

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Harold ups the stakes…

I popped round to see Harold this morning.  (I popped round twice at the weekend,  too,  but got no reply.  He says he was ‘out on a job’ – which makes him sound like a burglar! – but I’m sure … Continue reading

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Bernard takes a turn for the verse…

Bernard is at a loose end,  and has emailed me some limericks: There was a young man from Dumfries Fell in love with a girl named Louise Her best friend (called Mary) Revealed she liked dairy So he wooed her … Continue reading

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