Guess who?

Oh, you did.

Don’t worry – I’m not yet back.  Just popping in with a message from the Major.  His book X Marks The Spot (recently described by no less an intellectual than the British Foreign Secretary, William Hague as ‘fascinating’ – absolutely true; he’s shown me the letter) is currently freely available on Amazon Kindle.

You’ve all downloaded it three times already, but may have friends who have nothing to read and have been badgering you for months to let them know when this one comes up again.  So here it is.

I’ve just checked and it’s currently at Number 55 in the ‘Top 100 Free Humour Books’. Even better, it’s at Number 6 in the Top 100 ‘Politics and Current Affairs’ – just behind A Book of Remarkable Criminals by Henry Brodribb Irving.  And closing in fast on Karl Marx and his Communist Manifesto.

The Major also has another book out – Bernard to the Rescue!   You can see details on the ‘Books’ page (above), but don’t go splashing out your cash.  It’s rubbish – and, besides, he’ll be offering it for free before the month is out, so it would be foolish to waste 77p – or whatever that is in real money.

In the meantime, I came across the following earlier today.  You may have seen it before, but if not, hopefully you’ll find it amusing/enlightening in these economically straitened times.

Something like that.


Till next time – be good!

Thought for the Day

‘A friend is someone who will help you move.  A good friend is someone who will help you move a body.’

Anon (for obvious reasons)


About Chester Crump

Chester J Crump has spent a lifetime in cheese. His company, CC Cheese Ltd, was voted Door to Door magazine’s ‘Smallest Retailer of the Year’ from 1985-2007. Cheddar Today described him as ‘Chester Crump, aged 45’, while the UK’s most successful broadsheet, The Daily Telegraph, has never mentioned him at all. In his spare time, and under a completely different name, Chester has written gags and sketches for a wide range of TV and radio shows both in the UK and mainland Europe (BBC1, ITV, S4C, Radio 2, Radio 4 and the World Service – among others). A published writer for children, teenagers and adults, he has also performed stand-up comedy across Yorkshire and, in 2011, at the Edinburgh Fringe. Ten years ago, he was rumoured to be the constant companion of Sarah Michelle Gellar – TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, more recently, that girl out of EastEnders whose name no one can remember. When he’s not writing his blog, Chester attends second-hand hat conventions, and has what many believe to be the largest collection of used headgear in Yorkshire. He is married to a woman, and lives in a house. All the above is completely true – with the possible exception of the bits about cheese. And Buffy. And EastEnders. And hats.
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2 Responses to Guess who?

  1. So Bernard’s busy writing books.You’re supposedly working on a cheese experiment but are actually promoting said books – what do you do? Rip pages out to wrap cheese in in the hope that frustrated cheese nibblers will feel compelled to buy the rest of the book?

    Meanwhile, what I really want to know is what’s become of Harold? I might be needing his expertise – did you see what ‘they’ did to me?

    • Sorry for the delay in responding. I’ve been engaged on top-secret work which is, of course, so top secret I can’t talk about it.

      I fear we may not have heard the last of Harold. But as soon as I do, I’ll let you know.

      What have they done to you? And possibly your song, too.

      As Melanie once famously put it.

      Though you’ll be too young to remember.

      And I’m too old to forget… 🙂

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