Author Archives: Chester Crump

About Chester Crump

Chester J Crump has spent a lifetime in cheese. His company, CC Cheese Ltd, was voted Door to Door magazine’s ‘Smallest Retailer of the Year’ from 1985-2007. Cheddar Today described him as ‘Chester Crump, aged 45’, while the UK’s most successful broadsheet, The Daily Telegraph, has never mentioned him at all. In his spare time, and under a completely different name, Chester has written gags and sketches for a wide range of TV and radio shows both in the UK and mainland Europe (BBC1, ITV, S4C, Radio 2, Radio 4 and the World Service – among others). A published writer for children, teenagers and adults, he has also performed stand-up comedy across Yorkshire and, in 2011, at the Edinburgh Fringe. Ten years ago, he was rumoured to be the constant companion of Sarah Michelle Gellar – TV’s Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and, more recently, that girl out of EastEnders whose name no one can remember. When he’s not writing his blog, Chester attends second-hand hat conventions, and has what many believe to be the largest collection of used headgear in Yorkshire. He is married to a woman, and lives in a house. All the above is completely true – with the possible exception of the bits about cheese. And Buffy. And EastEnders. And hats.

New Blog

Hello! If anyone is still following me, whether in the hope I’ll post again, or just because there’s nothing good on the telly, I’ve started another blog – to replace this one.  It’s in its infancy and – I know … Continue reading

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Everyone’s gone to the moon…

According to a report in the Daily Mail (‘the paper our astronauts read’, so we know it’s to be trusted on extra-terrestrial matters), a man from Whitby has fathered a child out of wedlock – with a woman who lives … Continue reading

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Where did the world go?

It’s been quiet of late with nothing much to report.  Hope you’re all well. Bernard’s sent me a couple of photos – the usual rubbish.  The man clearly has too much time on his hands. He also tells me he’s … Continue reading

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Water carry on…

Mrs C is a keen horticulturalist and, the price of water having gone through the roof (£400 a metric tonne last time I looked), recently sent off for a butt.   (For the benefit of my American readers, let me put … Continue reading

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In for a penny…

Bernard doesn’t know when to stop. He’s sent me another four pictures, with the suggestion that I should ‘Publish and be damned’. Which I probably will be. But I’ll take him down with me! Thought for the Day ‘He became … Continue reading

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Money, money, money…

Bernard has sent me a furious email.  His dander’s up over a recent report in the Daily Telegraph (‘the paper God would read if He didn’t already know everything’). It seems the men in wigs are kicking up over plans … Continue reading

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And on the seventh day…

According to a report in last week’s Daily Mail (‘the paper that gives it to you straight’, so we know the story’s true), police in Essex took SIX days to respond to a 999 call, after a couple came home … Continue reading

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